Consistently Inconsistent | theghostofsophie's Blog

This whole blog has been the result of one test result. One. Something that isn't going to affect a lot of things. This week I got accused of cheating on a test. a bad test result and I even stopped doing my vlogs. I hate the fact that everything has changed because I was happy last week. I stopped doing my vlogs by accident because I forgot on Tuesday and then forgot full stop.
Every Sunday night I always say to myself that when I wake up I want to change my life and be a better person. This normally involves me trying to be healthier and be nice to people and to be consistent with certain routines that I like to have. This never works because normally I forget in the morning or I stick with it until the middle of the week and get bored. It's no surprise that tonight, or rather now, I'm going to tell myself to make those changes that I always want to make. Let's see how long it lasts this time.
I'm finding it hard to write a blog today being as i have no clue what happened this week. My memory is really bad but I think it's to do with my childhood. I can't remember what I did at the start of this week so when someone asks about my childhood I can't remember anything. It wasn't necessarily bad but I was alone a lot being as my mum would be passed out drunk or unable to look after me so people say I blocked those things out from my mind. It seems that now I block out everything that ever happens and I know it must annoy people because it drives me insane. That's why the vlogs were really helpful it meant that I could watch them back and see on a daily basis what happened and how I felt about things. I will start doing them again.
I'm making promises to myself whilst writing this that tomorrow is a new start. Its like people on New Year's Day with their resolutions except I end up saying the same thing every week. I follow it up by "and this time I mean it." Each time I really do and so i'm going to try and stay positive and follow through for once.